Having checked the map before leaving, I knew it was about fifteen minutes from work to the hospital. As I sat in slow-moving traffic, I thought about my drive yesterday and felt pretty confident that I knew where I was going today.
No Maps, I thought, no GPS. Just going to follow my instincts and see what I remember from yesterday.
I remembered the exit off the highway just fine. Knew which turn to take off the exit. That's when doubt started to creep in. It started off looking familiar, but then I stopped at a light and took in my surroundings.
Was I here yesterday? I think I remember that Subway, but I can't remember if I went straight or not! Don't look at your phone though; trust your gut.
I took out my phone and ensure I was indeed on the right path. I was.
I traveled down another 1.6 miles towards the hospital's parking garage. Yesterday, I had noticed that my GPS had seemingly taken me in a complete circle in order to enter the parking garage. I told myself that I would just take a left and then a right into the garage, rather than three lefts and then a left into the garage.
As I approached, my hand twitched towards me phone. I physically and mentally pulled my hand back.
Just take the left, I thought. What is the worst that can happen? You have to turn around? Just turn.
I went straight. And, of course, ended up doing a circle before entering the garage.
I'm not sure where my fear of risk comes from. Perhaps growing up with risk-taking parents has made me less apt to take risks. Perhaps as my world feels less certain, the emotional toll of taking a risk is more than I can bear.
All I know is that my eyes are open a little more to the risks in life, my 'safe' behaviors are under the microscope, and I'm on the path towards a little more risk in life.
No Maps, I thought, no GPS. Just going to follow my instincts and see what I remember from yesterday.
I remembered the exit off the highway just fine. Knew which turn to take off the exit. That's when doubt started to creep in. It started off looking familiar, but then I stopped at a light and took in my surroundings.
Was I here yesterday? I think I remember that Subway, but I can't remember if I went straight or not! Don't look at your phone though; trust your gut.
I took out my phone and ensure I was indeed on the right path. I was.
I traveled down another 1.6 miles towards the hospital's parking garage. Yesterday, I had noticed that my GPS had seemingly taken me in a complete circle in order to enter the parking garage. I told myself that I would just take a left and then a right into the garage, rather than three lefts and then a left into the garage.
As I approached, my hand twitched towards me phone. I physically and mentally pulled my hand back.
Just take the left, I thought. What is the worst that can happen? You have to turn around? Just turn.
I went straight. And, of course, ended up doing a circle before entering the garage.
I'm not sure where my fear of risk comes from. Perhaps growing up with risk-taking parents has made me less apt to take risks. Perhaps as my world feels less certain, the emotional toll of taking a risk is more than I can bear.
All I know is that my eyes are open a little more to the risks in life, my 'safe' behaviors are under the microscope, and I'm on the path towards a little more risk in life.
I can relate to that disequilibrium. I ask my husband constantly when I will feel like I can drive here without feeling on the brink of being lost. He replies never.
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