Fly

The time has come. It's time to spread their wings, test out their strength, follow their own path. They'll use their parents' guidance, of course, and they'll still need them for food, for shelter. But it's time for their first real venture into the real world.

You may thing I'm speaking of the baby birds you see in the tree outside your window.  You wouldn't be wrong.  But the "baby birds" I'm talking about are my eighth graders.

~*~

The high school guidance counselors, seemingly out of place in our middle school, have found a home this week in the library. Sitting in front of them over the course of the day are our 8th graders and their parents. They're meeting about next year, about freshman year, about what courses they'll take and what to expect.

Watching my former students take this step is always fun. I can only see them from a distance, of course, but it is a time of reflection. Look how tall she's gotten. Look at how involved their parents still are. Look at how he still does that odd thing with his shoe.

Today was a little more rewarding.

~*~

I ran into T's mom in the office lobby. I wasn't sure she recognized me at first. Not surprising, since it had been almost four full years since I had T in 4th grade. But we quickly fell into our old routine of talking about T. How much he had grown. How well he was doing in school.

T's mom began talking about how, T being her baby, she couldn't believe this was her last time. How he was so confident going into high school, that he knew what he wanted to take and what he wanted to try.  She said that she thought she'd still be 'occupying half his brain at this point.'

We continued our conversation and said good-bye, but, walking away, I was immediately brought back to 4th Grade Back to School Night.

~*~

This was my second year in 4th grade, so I was feeling a little more confident and sure of my decisions.  I decided to revamp my homework philosophy and practice, and I was presenting it to parents for the first time.  Most of the parents were thrilled that I was taking homework out of their hands and putting it in their child's, that I was advocating for no fighting over homework - ever. 

T's mom challenged me every step of the way.

But I always check his homework and circle things and make him go back and fix it, she contested.  It was what she had done for his older brother and sister, and they had turned out all right, so it was what she would do for T.

I explained that part of my job as a 4th grade teacher was to ready T for 5th grade, and part of that was building independence and advocacy skills. That I wanted all my students to feel confident in their skills when they worked on their own and to speak up when they faced a problem or obstacle.

T's mom left that night, more than likely thinking, 'This young teacher has NO idea what she is talking about.'

Over the course of the year, T's mom s - l - o - w - l - y let go. Homework, because it was at an independent level and was practice / prep, wasn't an issue for T at all. He bloomed as a writer, became a lover of different kinds of books. He stood up for others and stood up for himself. He accepted responsibility when he made a choice and it wasn't the right one.

He was on his way.

~*~

T is spreading his wings. T is setting his own path. I am so proud to have helped him along the way.