Those of you who have been following me this year know that 2018 has been rough for me. Since 2018 started, I have been dealing with death, traumatic injury, personal illness, and job stress. The last month or so has felt neverending.
But I've been searching for meaning amongst the pain and stress (see here). I think perhaps I found two pieces . . .
One thing that we are currently dealing with is getting ready for our house to be put on the market. As I was working on one room just getting it "show" ready, two signs appeared that spoke to me.
I was trying to organize my jewelry, as often I take it off in the bathroom at night before bed and then it never makes it back to its home in my vanity. As I was pulling apart tangled necklaces, I found a necklace that I haven't seen in years.
What was curious was not that I found the necklace, but what the necklace symbolized. Here is the back:
One of the things that I've struggled with most this year is that my outward life doesn't match my inward life. I am struggling with authenticity. This necklace, with its shiny side that faces the world and the faded, beat up, tarnished side close to my heart - that symbolizes the two lives I feel like I'm living. This is now serving as a reminder to have more balance between what you show the world and what's inside of yourself.
The second sign happened not that much later. I've been in a silence rut for a while (see here) but for some reason I was moved to turn some music on while I was cleaning. The music gave me something to tune out and/or sing to. For whatever reason, I tuned right into this song and boy, did it speak to me. I listened to it once, frozen to my bed. I immediately replayed it and then wept. After researching, I discovered that Sara Bareilles wrote this song for the musical Waitress, which I now feel like I need to see. To me this was a sign that I am reclaiming a little bit of who I used to be and starting down a path of who I want to be.
Today was a day of finding signs, signs that say, "Keep going, we've got your back."
Signs that bring you meaning, from two very different points of inspiration. (I hear "Waitress" is fantastic.)
ReplyDeleteI hear it is too. I've added it to my list!
DeleteI recently saw an article that said introverts find symbolism in things. You must be an introvert like me. I understand deeply how you have two sides to yourself. My daughter bought me tickets to see Waitress with her this summer. I can't wait!
ReplyDeleteLucky you! What a fun time that will be!
DeleteI have never heard that about introverts. I'm not sure that I would describe myself as an introvert, but I *am always searching for signs or meaning. These two just happened to smack me in the face so that I'd see them. :)
I think it is so important to find the signs that help us through the hard times. I hope these two signs will help you get through your challenges. They were there to help you for sure.
ReplyDeleteI've made a sign for myself with the lyrics from the song. <3 Thank you!
DeleteI love the symbol of the necklace. I had to look at it a few times as it wasn't as clear to me in the photos, but yes, we do have a shiny side that we face out to the world. I hope you're finding peace and strength with your writing, Ashley. It seems like you are.
ReplyDeleteThanks Melanie! You've read enough to see that I veered pretty far from my original ideas around Slicing this month to dig pretty deeply into life stuff, but writing just kind of happens that way. It has been a wonderful outlet for me and a beautiful routine to add to my day. Thanks for being here!
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