Nerves

I've had this test done before. Eighteen times before, though a few of those don't count since I was too young to remember. I find it curious that I can't remember what it is like. Not a darn thing.

You'd think that if you had done something more than ten times in your life, I'd remember. But no.

All I recall is being at the hospital in the children's wing. I remember what the waiting area looked like. But not too much about the test. But I was a child, and it was only an hour out of one day every year. I'm sure that I felt as if it was just another thing I had to do.

As an adult, though, it feels bigger. Plus I've put it off for a long time, so there's the nerves related to that.

I'll find out this morning, I guess. After sixteen years, I'm back to needing the test done every few years to make sure this condition doesn't develop. And I keep reminding myself that, if it does, there is medication that is proven to keep it under control.

By 10:30 I'll be back at work (snow day depending of course). I'll jump into classrooms and meetings and conversations.

But part of my mind will still be on this test. And the results.

Waiting and wondering are not my strong suit.